Hot Steam
Our cat that we raised from a kitten, Spidey, died yesterday at only eleven years old. He had stopped eating almost completely, so I took him into the emergency room. His exam with the only vet that showed up that day kept getting pushed back for the “real” emergencies like the dog bleeding in the lobby. After waiting half a day, they were finally able to see him. He had anemia – his bone marrow had stopped producing red blood cells, and the uncomfortable, invasive tests that could determine the root cause wouldn’t give him longer to live at any kind of quality of life. It would just give us answers (maybe) and him pain and fear (definitely). We made the difficult decision to euthanize him instead of making him live in pain for our benefit, and now he is gone.
While I was waiting for the test results, I played my Playdate. Anything to get my mind off what was happening in the back room with my boy. Looking for something new, I settled on Hot Steam, a short work of interactive fiction about the conversations that can only happen between two people completely at ease with each other, the kinds of conversations you might have with your wife in the shower, or before going to sleep at night, or via text message while one is away on a business trip for a job they don’t even like but pays the bills.
These safe places let you bare your body and soul to one special person who accepts all of you. You remember things you’ve done together in Boulder, or candy you could only find in Minnesota, or in-jokes from weddings you’ve attended. You compliment and reassure each other. You lament the bed being not-quite-big-enough for the two of you and your giant cat. When that cat is gone, will the new bed you just bought for this very reason feel too big? Life and the things in it can be so overwhelming and scary; having someone by your side through all of it lets you make memories that feel like they matter, like they really happened.
Hot Steam is a series of vignettes, maybe fictional, maybe based in reality. All feel real, and they hit a little too close to home for me on this day. The limited Pulp graphics let you fill in the blanks yourself with your own lives, your own experiences. Hopefully you have someone you can have real conversations with, even if those conversations are ones you don’t want to have but need to.
Will this game have the same effect on you if you play it at a different point in your life, with your vastly different experiences? Almost definitely not. It’s like finding a poem or a song that seems to be written about you, and you stumble on it at the exact right time. You might have some piece of art just like this. As for me, where would I be without my wife? This website wouldn’t exist, for one, without her support. I might’ve never gotten a Playdate (she bought it for me, and then got me another when I dropped and cracked the first one). I would’ve never known Spidey or had my life enriched by him every day for over a decade. Things just… happen sometimes. Having someone by your side through it makes it feel worth it.
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